The Greatest Lie Part 11

"My trip got kind of messy at the end. But everything is fine now."

"Don't worry, because Epstein didn't show either. He's on another honeymoon."

"I didn't know he was getting married."

"He didn't."

"M-m-m."

"Don't even think about it, Alex."

"All I'm thinking about are these law cases. I mean, what am I supposed to be getting out of them? I mean, am I supposed to be memorizing them or something? They're so long and boring, and there are so many." I was panicking.

"I always forget that you're a baby. Here's what you do. You read the facts really fast, then get to the holding, which is what the court decides. Then you figure out what the facts and law they used to get to the holding: that's the rationale. Then you figure out what's wrong with rationale, like which important facts they left out or what law they ignored. Then compare the holding to the earlier cases and figure out how they fudged the outcome: that's what's wrong with the holding. Then go onto the next case, do the same thing, and figure out what this bunch did different than the last. That's it: law school in a nutshell. Epstein loves to hear what's wrong with judges. He thinks they're all idiots."

"So you're really not learning anything from the cases."

"Well, actually, you have to memorize all of the holdings for the final. But what you are really trying to learn is how to show all other lawyers and judges (except you, Epstein and me) are a bunch of idiots. You're learning how to criticize others."

"Oh, I can get into that."

"Wait'll you read the assignment for this week. You'll find something to hate in the Gardiner case. We're meeting at Epstein's house next Saturday. See ya then."

The siege of unspeakable weather gave me an excuse to ditch classes for another week, and regain my strength. When the below zero days finally ended in a glorious January thaw, the students had tee-shirted snowball fights in the quads, and I emerged to go to my first classes.